The Foxy, Bible Readin' Ladies of Proverbs 31

This might sound sexist but I like the idea of a woman being under her husband. It seems our generation is growing to think wives should be more and more independent of not only their husbands but of family life in general. I’m thinking just the opposite though. Wives should respect their husbands and let them be the leader in the relationship. Where in the world have I gotten these audacious views?

Proverbs 31 is dedicated to all the foxy, Bible readin’ ladies out there and where I have derived my argument. I used to think because of my organized lifestyle and determination I would always be more of the leader in the relationship, with the man lagging behind trying his hardest to keep up and catch his breath. Then I took a month out of my summer to study Proverbs. When I came to the last chapter I found a collection of bold statements of how a woman should act. I realized all of the good relationships I’ve seen in my life have had a basis in this man as the head of the household scenario.

Through time in prayer, more study and talking to other women I found how badly my heart longed to be a woman whose actions please the Lord. I have wept over these verses because of my heartfelt desire to be this kind wife, mother and follower of Christ.

I refer to women as foxy, Bible readin’ ladies because a female in pursuit of this kind of relationship with Christ and her husband is so beautiful and attractive that she becomes foxy. It’s also because the man I love happens to have coined the term and it is now stuck in our relationship as an aspect of what I strive to be. Aside from comic relief there really is a meaning behind the term. A woman who fears the Lord, who loves God, who pours herself out in to studying the Bible, prayer, and ministry is hard to resist when you’re a Godly guy.

All of Proverbs 31 is a very clear outline for how a woman should strive to be. Now, I say strive because no one is perfect and should not be expected to hold themselves to standards that because of our sinful nature are not necessarily always attainable. But when they are at the forefront of thinking the beauty and grace that emanate from a woman are overwhelming and a testimony to God’s goodness.

“Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood” is a book by John Piper and Wayne Grudem that looks at how a man and woman should act in a relationship that pleases the Lord. It talks at length about a wife’s role under her husband and also what the man is expected to do for the woman. This book along with a challenge Piper makes to women to live Godly lives support the great and worthwhile endeavor of women submitting themselves to God and to the ways he wants us to act.

If I have made it sound like Proverbs 31 talks down to women and ‘puts them in their place’ I am sorry. This chapter contains some extremely encouraging verses and they speak directly to our enormous worth as women. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” Proverbs 31:1. The images that are given, some others being strength, dignity, diligence, support and trust in the Lord, are so clearly outlined for us to follow. Women should strive to be like this.

But so what? Don’t we all just want to ‘forget’ to shave our legs, leave our dishes on the counter and only take care of ourselves? Well, sometimes. But what is promised us if we strive to live by these standards is praise. Praise not only from our Father, which is already undeserved, but also from our children and husbands. “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. ‘Many women have done excellently but you surpass them all.’” Proverbs 31:28-29. The chapter shows it is a blessing and privilege to bring up a household, cook the food, make the clothing, honor your husband and encourage others. If you’re seeking what God wants for your life your desires will line up with this anyways.

Song of Solomon focuses on the relationship of a bride and groom. Though this is a different form of adoration, explained much more romantically than in Proverbs 31, it extends the love and passion a husband who is striving to be righteous holds for his wife. During the short book he refers to his bride as beautiful with eyes like doves and cheeks like halves of pomegranate. Women though placed under their husbands, have great worth and even in a Biblical relationship, probably more in this circumstance, are adored and taken care of.

“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” (Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood).

Like I said earlier, when your desires match up with what God wants there will be this “freeing disposition” as Piper and Grudem put it to encourage and grow this leadership Proverbs 31 advocates. Being able to say you truly want to build up a house and have a loving relationship in the way God has designed it holds the opportunity to not only affirm but also nurture the manliness God wants to see out of men. Proverbs 16:24 talks about gracious words being like honeycomb. It says they’re sweet and healing. In chapter 31 it brings this point back up and personally drove home the aspect of a woman being someone who ministers to others. “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26. Even our current society tells us that women should be more proper and sweet like sugar but this Biblical honey is the sweetest because this kindness is from God. The wisdom was given because of grace and because of our fear of the Lord.

It has almost become a trend for the female to be just as much the leader in a relationship as the male. Piper and Grudem say, “Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood today is an epidemic.” (page 27). So when I say women should be submissive to their husbands I am sure some feathers get ruffled. But this is how God designed it. Women still have an important role and high regard though. It is conforming to worldly ways and a lie when people say the Bible only wants women to take care of the house. They put it as a disservice. But just because the wife in a Biblical relationship shouldn’t have the full leadership role in both the relationship and home she still maintains a very strong image. “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the times to come.” Proverbs 31:25. The household a woman that fears the Lord builds is on the foundation of Christ and because of it she can throw her head back and laugh at calamity because it cannot touch her family. God is the only way any relationship will work. Failure should be expected if God is not the center. To be able to have a working, God centered relationship we first have to understand our own sexuality and our roles within that to be able to appreciate the others and compliment it in a Godly way, part of that is women adhering to the guidelines in Proverbs 31.

Even in 1 Peter when women are being told to be subject to their husbands encouragement is given and beauty is bestowed by saying to not let it be shown on the outside but to let it shine through with the “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” (1 Peter 3:4).

John Piper challenges women to seek God in everything they do (A Challenge to Women), overflow with love, ministry, affection and trust for their husbands in a complimentary way and with these things and the other challenges he makes comes study of the Bible and prayer. These tasks hold the decisions of how careers may look as a wife and as a mother and how you show your love to your husband. As sinful people, deserving of nothing, we cannot hope to come to these conclusions on our own. What we can cling to is God’s constant presence and the Holy Spirit guiding us in all our decisions in life. We attain this by reading and studying the word and being in constant conversation with God, by listening to his voice and obeying fully. When we do this not only are we pleasing God but we see his greater works in our lives. Puzzle pieces suddenly fall in to place and what seemed like it was just a casual meeting of a new friend, a desire to talk about God with that person, turning in to a conversation about marriage, you find God had been planning this for years. You find your heart was being prepared before you could even comprehend what you would need in a life partner. But through prayer and listening to God he brings us to where we are and shows us his great glory through his awesome works.

Being a woman is not in any way damnation but a blessing of uncompromising beauty and tranquil strength. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30. Foxy, Bible reading ladies are not just women who rejoice in being women but it is also a way of life. Whether or not this meaning was intended for the quirky metaphor being a foxy, Bible reading lady means to let your faith emanate and your desire for God to rule your heart flood you with joy and wisdom. With that comes the foxiness.