Women Need to Know How to Shoot Flaming Arrows Too.

I really don’t think most women think of finding the Mr. Right by battling off crowds of men. I think most of the time it’s the complete opposite. But, when I read Song of Solomon I have a very epic, intense battle scene playing on repeat in my head. I see a small group of women shooting bow and arrows from a tower, popping their heads up only when necessary to get better aim. I see swords being swung, blood being shed, dejected men hobbling off the battlefield. Sometimes there are even laser eyes but that’s in the far more futuristic version of this picture. It’s so perfect in its scriptural value.

Song of Solomon talks a lot about marriage and sex but the bride specifically talks about protecting her heart up until she married Solomon as well. She talks about being a wall. The Bible might not portray it as drastically as I see it in my mind but the basis is the same: be a wall and build a battlement upon it.

“If she is a wall, we build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar.” Song of Solomon 8:9

As a woman who fears the Lord I value being a wall. As a fiancé I feel like I’m beginning to see even more how important it is. When you’re a wall you protect your heart. As women we have to be so careful who we give ourselves to. Our hearts are fragile, soft, and full of love. If we pass it out freely we’re doing ourselves a disservice and really not even letting men do their job. Women are to be pursued, protecting their hearts until that Godly man is brought to them. The bride in Song of Solomon says she is just this…

“I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers, then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace.” Song of Solomon 8:10

She was very particular about who she gave her heart to. She fought off all the pursuers who weren’t worth her time. Why do I picture something from Austin Powers popping in to my head with this verse? Her towers were her battlement though! The dictionary says a battlement is a parapet at the top of a wall, maybe a castle that has regularly spaced, squared openings for shooting through. This book is literally saying that they’re fighting these men off! This wall isn’t just a passive thing. It is a protection, a fortress, with very strategic openings every few feet to fire from. The others in Song of Solomon say they’re going to help her protect herself by going up in that battlement with her.

But unfortunately in our society today we have a lot of women who think it far better to be a door. They’re friendly with everyone, even guys who aren’t deserving of their wondrousness. Women who are doors aren’t careful with their hearts. They allow man after man to play hot potato with it and eventually break it into little pieces. This is not only sad but wrong. The others say they will board up women if they’re like this. They’ll protect her even if she doesn’t think she needs protecting. Women who are doors end up constantly getting hurt because they’re grabbing for something that’s not realistic. They want attention from all the wrong men and when they don’t get it they put themselves out there for anyone to feast upon.

God calls us to guard our hearts though! We’re supposed to battle men off not tend to the ones wounded from the women in the battlement. The bride says it three times throughout Song of Solomon:

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

Solomon’s bride is loved, taken care of, in a Godly marriage and she wants women to wait for such a thing. She doesn’t want them to stir up love with just anyone. She wants them to have men deserving of their beauty and wisdom, their God-given foxiness. When you stir up love in my mind it really is like stirring something up, making yourself noticeable, talking with men, and starting to come out of the battlement even more. But this is only right if you, the woman, are being pursued. This is where the when it pleases part comes in. If this guy doesn’t actually care about you then he has no business stirring up love. If he isn’t asking you out on the dates and furthermore but just as important, paying for them as well, then you need to pop right back down into your fortress. When a man is willing to approach the battlement and respect the wall, slowly working his way in, that’s when love can be stirred. It pleases when the man is respectful, loving, caring, in pursuit of righteousness.

She even gives examples of how awesome Solomon is. Yes, there is a lot of sexual talk throughout the book but there are also more tame parts that still describe the relationship in such a beautiful way.

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him I am sick with love.” Song of Solomon 5:8

“His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” Song of Solomon 8:9

She is all about him. She misses him, wants to be with him. In these two verses she speaks directly to the daughters of Jerusalem again. She’s saying, ‘look, here is a great example as to how you should feel and some aspects that should be in your relationship.’

The Bride isn’t necessarily saying wait a long time to get married or even let a guy like you. She’s encouraging women to protect the beauty and grace God has given them. She’s saying wait for a Godly guy. Through this beautifully written book of Godly marriage and love this is such a clear message to women to protect their hearts until this man like Solomon comes along to take care of them correctly. It’s not that Solomon was perfect. He wasn’t. But he clung to God, as did she, and they praised God for what they had.

It can be so easy to try to push a romantic relationship with any person of the opposite sex. This is the exact reason as to why we have to be so careful. God didn’t design us to have more than one mate. The encouragement here is to wait though, because it’s so worth it. Rejoice in being a woman, in God’s creation that is looked upon so highly and pursued so readily by the right men. The encouragement is to take hold of your God-given womanly confidence and beauty and snipe out any men who miss the standards even by a centimeter. There is a man for you but God has called him to work for you first. So let him and enjoy being who God has made you to be!

Everything was pissing me off

It was one of those days when I got to take a deep breath for like, a minute, and then had to keep going very quickly. The past few hours had been filled with confusion, tiredness, sadness and even anger. The day was sucking.

Now, I could have easily taken this in to account and said, “Ok, God, it’s yours.” But I admit I didn’t. Instead I bemoaned everything, how customers approached me at work, how that guy poured the sugar in his coffee, how I wasn’t cleaning fast enough. I huffed and puffed around, sweeping with indignation, doing the dishes with many splashes, knocking the espresso out of the portafilter with just a little too much effort.

But then after several “This sucks” my boyfriend simply asked me, “Well, did you pray about it?” Maybe there was a little nervous cringe on his face because he was really trying to say, “Stop being a baby and whining so much.”

Walking around with my hands on my hips I prayed and God clearly brought it to my attention that I was being extremely selfish.

So, with a dramatic flourish of throwing my hands in to the air I announced to my boyfriend, “God is my only satisfaction right now because everything else is pissing me off.”

He laughed. I rested in this truth. As believers, God is our only source of true fulfillment and happiness. Everything else will piss us off.

Paul and the Corinthians had to throw their hands up in the air often. Paul is constantly encouraging them to take heart though. Yeah, this sucks, but only for right now. They went through trouble after trouble, pain, hardship, even physical suffering. But there was much hope.

God is our only joy. He is our perfect, righteous, loving, gracious creator. He is infallible. Everything else in this world fails. We’re all striving for fulfillment whether it’s through love, attention, or accomplishment. We can search everywhere and anywhere for this but God is the only way to truly attain it.

2 Corinthians starts off with Paul praising God because of the comfort he brings. He’s sharing with the people how he and Timothy were brutalized, to the point that they despaired of life itself (1:8). He says in the next verse, “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” Paul put his joy in God alone and even the toughest situations of getting beat up weren’t so bad because he had hope. He raised the dead before so we have hope that he will do it once again. Just like the Lord delivered us from the last horrible day at work and we woke up the next morning refreshed.

But it’s not just hope in God giving us great days consistently. There’s so much more to it.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

The world is infested with sin, so it sucks. People are corrupted because they’re not focused on God. There is wreckage within everything. These verses go beyond saying God is going to give you happiness all the time. They say instead that sometimes God is going to let your days suck to prepare you for eternity with Him. Paul says that we’re being prepared for an eternal weight of glory. Think about the term eternal weight. It must be so strong, powerful, heavenly and righteous that it pushes down on your spirit because of all the understanding and perfection we’ll encounter. This is where our hope lies. The things in this world are clear. We see right through them. This pisses us off. It’s what we can’t see right now that should be grasped on to so tightly. Since God is the only way to this hope we should grasp on to Him so tightly, with all of our strength. He will always be there while that job you hate, that person who rags on you, the way that cup sets on the table or the way the stranger poured their sugar won’t matter. And when we actually allow God to fill our hearts that anger melts away anyways. All of a sudden we find fulfillment and we end up serving God better. Instead of seeing calamity and brokenness we see opportunity to bring God’s light to the situations.

This is exactly what Paul allowed himself to do. God sent Titus to the Corinthians so he could see just how well they were doing. Paul was shown their zeal for the Lord so even though he’s throwing his hands in the air saying, “Ok, God, I get it. I get it.” He’s also saying, “I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.” (2 Corinthians 7:4). Paul knows that God comforts the downcast (7:6) and he also knows that all this is worth it in the end.

God gives us one path to fulfillment. He doesn’t say choose path a, b or c and maybe you’ll get it right. He says he is the way and the truth and the life. If we want to try to control our lives by our works alone we will fail horribly. Anything that brings temporary happiness will become an idol. When we let transient things rule our lives and expect them to constantly attain perfection we end up overshadowing God. Life starts to suck all over again – we get pissed off. But if we let God rule our lives we find favor, happiness, blessing, love, understanding and the list goes on and on of what He graciously lavishes upon us because He loves us and because all He asks is that we live our lives for Him.

God’s love and grace for us is so vast and abounding that he takes us from unbelievably painful situations and shows us the promise of eternity with Him through the tough times. When we learn to endure, trust in Him completely, dedicate our lives to the only purpose that matters we have an overflowing fountain of hope. Life can be lived beautifully amidst death if we just hand our lives to Him.

So, with that, I throw my hands in the air.

An Assistant Pig Keeper's job is bigger than you think.

Have you ever heard of The Chronicles of Pyrdain? Ok, if you haven’t, check it out. The main character’s name is Taran. He’s an assistant pig keeper to an oracular pig. Throughout the series Taran is on this constant quest to come in to himself as a leader, something much more grand than just an assistant pig keeper. He wants to be a hero for the kingdom. From chapter to chapter the reader sees the change in the way Taran approaches situations. He goes from foolish and irrational to stable and authoritative. He speaks differently, even fights better. He comes in to being a man instead of just staying a boy. Taran sincerely craved to be better. It was a similar situation for what Paul wanted for the Corinthians and for us as well.

As believers in Christ we have been blessed with spiritual gifts and just like Taran wanted to be more of a man and hero we should earnestly and eagerly desire to come in to our gifts as sons and daughters of Christ as well.

Paul talks a lot in 1 Corinthians about spiritual gifts. He tells the Corinthians to truly want these and later confirms that they were eager as a community of Christ to see the manifestations of the spirit (1 Corinthians 14:12). He says that in the body of Christ we all have jobs, everyone is a certain member, and each one of us whether we see it as big or small, plays an intricate role in bringing the Kingdom. We partially do this by knowing our spiritual gifts and using them to glorify God.

In The Black Cauldron, the second book in The Chronicles of Pyrdain, Taran is given a brooch by Adaon, a bard who serves as a leader for part of the book. The unfortunate situation is that Taran receives this when Adaon is dying but the great part is that it’s his prized possession, so this really boosts Taran’s confidence as the new leader. As he continues to wear it he finds himself having these weird dreams that end up happening in reality. He has premonitions of where the group needs to travel, keeping them out of much harm. Ultimately he figures out this brooch holds powers that help them along on their journey of saving the kingdom.

It’s likewise with our spiritual gifts. After we have eagerly desired them, like Taran desired to be more of the hero, we can use them to bring glory to God and His Kingdom. Being a Christian is no longer a self-satisfying belief that only brings good to ourselves but we focus on Christ and what he wants from us. Without spiritual gifts, prophesying, speaking in tongues, having visions, dreams, how do we move forward in faith? How do we even begin to have the slightest idea of how God will use us?

We don’t. We cannot begin to do anything by our own will. It is all about what God wants for us. He tells us what he wants through giving us words, blessing us with visions, building up the church with tongues. In chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians Paul urges them and us to live as we are called. God has placed very specific desires in our hearts and we shouldn’t struggle against these. We need to come in to our identities in Christ and realize how important each gift is to the entirety of the work of God. Even if we can’t see the movement of Christ in our one action we can rest assured that He used it to glorify Himself.

Taran’s gift was handed to him freely. Our spiritual gifts might be handed to us without much thought but sometimes we have to ask for them. If we put ourselves in the position of listening to God we will come in to these blessings. Different gifts bring different results. When Paul talks about the variations between speaking in tongues and prophesying he tells the Corinthians to desire prophesy even more than the other (1 Corinthians 14:1). He says this because prophesy builds up the church and brings encouragement and consolation. It is a communal gift where as speaking in tongues, unless there’s an interpretation, only serves the person who speaks it. When we speak in tongues it is a mystery in the spirit (1 Corinthians 14:2) but prophesying praises in mind as well, therefore everyone in the church can learn from it.

The point is we should all earnestly desire to serve God in any of these ways. We should want to bring Him glory and fully identify ourselves with our spiritual gifts. When we do this as a community we learn of God’s greater plans for our lives and ultimately what He wants us to do for His Kingdom. We have been blessed with these gifts, just like the brooch was handed over to Taran when Adaon died because of his love for him. Christ loves us unconditionally and wants us to have good things and when we do His will that happens.

Having spiritual gifts is not a burden for us to be weighed down with but a blessing because God is using us. We would be nothing without Him but because he gives us the strength and the will to serve Him it is an honor to bring Him glory through this. He loves us enough to let us do this for Him. The least we can do is say, “Yes, Lord, of course we’ll obey your will.”

So even though Taran figures out that he is a strong leader and hero without the brooch the point is that he earnestly desired to be better and when he did that he came in to the man he knows he is just like we come in to the followers of Christ we should desire to be. When we have these gifts, when Taran is guiding the group through the marshes of Morva, when we consciously strive to glorify God, good things come. Just like Taran moves the group forward to safety and betterment we too bring the Kingdom further when we prophesy, have visions, dreams, interpretations, when we are in line with what God is saying to us. Whether it’s to build up or to give instruction it is for God. And that should be the focus of our lives, to serve Christ, glorify Him and listen and follow intently to His will. His love and grace for us is so abounding that it is the least we can do for the God that is promising us eternity.

The Foxy, Bible Readin' Ladies of Proverbs 31

This might sound sexist but I like the idea of a woman being under her husband. It seems our generation is growing to think wives should be more and more independent of not only their husbands but of family life in general. I’m thinking just the opposite though. Wives should respect their husbands and let them be the leader in the relationship. Where in the world have I gotten these audacious views?

Proverbs 31 is dedicated to all the foxy, Bible readin’ ladies out there and where I have derived my argument. I used to think because of my organized lifestyle and determination I would always be more of the leader in the relationship, with the man lagging behind trying his hardest to keep up and catch his breath. Then I took a month out of my summer to study Proverbs. When I came to the last chapter I found a collection of bold statements of how a woman should act. I realized all of the good relationships I’ve seen in my life have had a basis in this man as the head of the household scenario.

Through time in prayer, more study and talking to other women I found how badly my heart longed to be a woman whose actions please the Lord. I have wept over these verses because of my heartfelt desire to be this kind wife, mother and follower of Christ.

I refer to women as foxy, Bible readin’ ladies because a female in pursuit of this kind of relationship with Christ and her husband is so beautiful and attractive that she becomes foxy. It’s also because the man I love happens to have coined the term and it is now stuck in our relationship as an aspect of what I strive to be. Aside from comic relief there really is a meaning behind the term. A woman who fears the Lord, who loves God, who pours herself out in to studying the Bible, prayer, and ministry is hard to resist when you’re a Godly guy.

All of Proverbs 31 is a very clear outline for how a woman should strive to be. Now, I say strive because no one is perfect and should not be expected to hold themselves to standards that because of our sinful nature are not necessarily always attainable. But when they are at the forefront of thinking the beauty and grace that emanate from a woman are overwhelming and a testimony to God’s goodness.

“Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood” is a book by John Piper and Wayne Grudem that looks at how a man and woman should act in a relationship that pleases the Lord. It talks at length about a wife’s role under her husband and also what the man is expected to do for the woman. This book along with a challenge Piper makes to women to live Godly lives support the great and worthwhile endeavor of women submitting themselves to God and to the ways he wants us to act.

If I have made it sound like Proverbs 31 talks down to women and ‘puts them in their place’ I am sorry. This chapter contains some extremely encouraging verses and they speak directly to our enormous worth as women. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” Proverbs 31:1. The images that are given, some others being strength, dignity, diligence, support and trust in the Lord, are so clearly outlined for us to follow. Women should strive to be like this.

But so what? Don’t we all just want to ‘forget’ to shave our legs, leave our dishes on the counter and only take care of ourselves? Well, sometimes. But what is promised us if we strive to live by these standards is praise. Praise not only from our Father, which is already undeserved, but also from our children and husbands. “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. ‘Many women have done excellently but you surpass them all.’” Proverbs 31:28-29. The chapter shows it is a blessing and privilege to bring up a household, cook the food, make the clothing, honor your husband and encourage others. If you’re seeking what God wants for your life your desires will line up with this anyways.

Song of Solomon focuses on the relationship of a bride and groom. Though this is a different form of adoration, explained much more romantically than in Proverbs 31, it extends the love and passion a husband who is striving to be righteous holds for his wife. During the short book he refers to his bride as beautiful with eyes like doves and cheeks like halves of pomegranate. Women though placed under their husbands, have great worth and even in a Biblical relationship, probably more in this circumstance, are adored and taken care of.

“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” (Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood).

Like I said earlier, when your desires match up with what God wants there will be this “freeing disposition” as Piper and Grudem put it to encourage and grow this leadership Proverbs 31 advocates. Being able to say you truly want to build up a house and have a loving relationship in the way God has designed it holds the opportunity to not only affirm but also nurture the manliness God wants to see out of men. Proverbs 16:24 talks about gracious words being like honeycomb. It says they’re sweet and healing. In chapter 31 it brings this point back up and personally drove home the aspect of a woman being someone who ministers to others. “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26. Even our current society tells us that women should be more proper and sweet like sugar but this Biblical honey is the sweetest because this kindness is from God. The wisdom was given because of grace and because of our fear of the Lord.

It has almost become a trend for the female to be just as much the leader in a relationship as the male. Piper and Grudem say, “Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood today is an epidemic.” (page 27). So when I say women should be submissive to their husbands I am sure some feathers get ruffled. But this is how God designed it. Women still have an important role and high regard though. It is conforming to worldly ways and a lie when people say the Bible only wants women to take care of the house. They put it as a disservice. But just because the wife in a Biblical relationship shouldn’t have the full leadership role in both the relationship and home she still maintains a very strong image. “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the times to come.” Proverbs 31:25. The household a woman that fears the Lord builds is on the foundation of Christ and because of it she can throw her head back and laugh at calamity because it cannot touch her family. God is the only way any relationship will work. Failure should be expected if God is not the center. To be able to have a working, God centered relationship we first have to understand our own sexuality and our roles within that to be able to appreciate the others and compliment it in a Godly way, part of that is women adhering to the guidelines in Proverbs 31.

Even in 1 Peter when women are being told to be subject to their husbands encouragement is given and beauty is bestowed by saying to not let it be shown on the outside but to let it shine through with the “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” (1 Peter 3:4).

John Piper challenges women to seek God in everything they do (A Challenge to Women), overflow with love, ministry, affection and trust for their husbands in a complimentary way and with these things and the other challenges he makes comes study of the Bible and prayer. These tasks hold the decisions of how careers may look as a wife and as a mother and how you show your love to your husband. As sinful people, deserving of nothing, we cannot hope to come to these conclusions on our own. What we can cling to is God’s constant presence and the Holy Spirit guiding us in all our decisions in life. We attain this by reading and studying the word and being in constant conversation with God, by listening to his voice and obeying fully. When we do this not only are we pleasing God but we see his greater works in our lives. Puzzle pieces suddenly fall in to place and what seemed like it was just a casual meeting of a new friend, a desire to talk about God with that person, turning in to a conversation about marriage, you find God had been planning this for years. You find your heart was being prepared before you could even comprehend what you would need in a life partner. But through prayer and listening to God he brings us to where we are and shows us his great glory through his awesome works.

Being a woman is not in any way damnation but a blessing of uncompromising beauty and tranquil strength. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30. Foxy, Bible reading ladies are not just women who rejoice in being women but it is also a way of life. Whether or not this meaning was intended for the quirky metaphor being a foxy, Bible reading lady means to let your faith emanate and your desire for God to rule your heart flood you with joy and wisdom. With that comes the foxiness.

An Introduction.

I pray a lot, read a lot and drink more coffee during those situations than is recommended. These are just a few of my favorite things. They all bring me joy.

I love God, with the entirety of my heart, and he loves me back. Without Him I would not enjoy reading so thoroughly. I wouldn’t find coffee so satisfying and I definitely wouldn’t understand prayer.

I strive for his love to be shown through me. I want to be a light, a joyful smile; a woman that pleases Him.

But, some days still suck. The light at the end of the tunnel I’ve found throughout my life though is that God brings joy in all circumstances… not just while I’m reading, praying or drinking coffee.

So, with this blog I want to show God’s love. I want it to be an encouragement to others to seek that same satisfaction and joy the Lord gives me.

This may come in the form of essays or it could be lightly structured paragraphs on what God has given me through reading the word, prayer, pictures or how ever else He decides to move, because He always does. The point is I want to show, not just tell.

With that, I leave you to read.