I really don’t think most women think of finding the Mr. Right by battling off crowds of men. I think most of the time it’s the complete opposite. But, when I read Song of Solomon I have a very epic, intense battle scene playing on repeat in my head. I see a small group of women shooting bow and arrows from a tower, popping their heads up only when necessary to get better aim. I see swords being swung, blood being shed, dejected men hobbling off the battlefield. Sometimes there are even laser eyes but that’s in the far more futuristic version of this picture. It’s so perfect in its scriptural value.
Song of Solomon talks a lot about marriage and sex but the bride specifically talks about protecting her heart up until she married Solomon as well. She talks about being a wall. The Bible might not portray it as drastically as I see it in my mind but the basis is the same: be a wall and build a battlement upon it.
“If she is a wall, we build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar.” Song of Solomon 8:9
As a woman who fears the Lord I value being a wall. As a fiancé I feel like I’m beginning to see even more how important it is. When you’re a wall you protect your heart. As women we have to be so careful who we give ourselves to. Our hearts are fragile, soft, and full of love. If we pass it out freely we’re doing ourselves a disservice and really not even letting men do their job. Women are to be pursued, protecting their hearts until that Godly man is brought to them. The bride in Song of Solomon says she is just this…
“I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers, then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace.” Song of Solomon 8:10
She was very particular about who she gave her heart to. She fought off all the pursuers who weren’t worth her time. Why do I picture something from Austin Powers popping in to my head with this verse? Her towers were her battlement though! The dictionary says a battlement is a parapet at the top of a wall, maybe a castle that has regularly spaced, squared openings for shooting through. This book is literally saying that they’re fighting these men off! This wall isn’t just a passive thing. It is a protection, a fortress, with very strategic openings every few feet to fire from. The others in Song of Solomon say they’re going to help her protect herself by going up in that battlement with her.
But unfortunately in our society today we have a lot of women who think it far better to be a door. They’re friendly with everyone, even guys who aren’t deserving of their wondrousness. Women who are doors aren’t careful with their hearts. They allow man after man to play hot potato with it and eventually break it into little pieces. This is not only sad but wrong. The others say they will board up women if they’re like this. They’ll protect her even if she doesn’t think she needs protecting. Women who are doors end up constantly getting hurt because they’re grabbing for something that’s not realistic. They want attention from all the wrong men and when they don’t get it they put themselves out there for anyone to feast upon.
God calls us to guard our hearts though! We’re supposed to battle men off not tend to the ones wounded from the women in the battlement. The bride says it three times throughout Song of Solomon:
“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4
Solomon’s bride is loved, taken care of, in a Godly marriage and she wants women to wait for such a thing. She doesn’t want them to stir up love with just anyone. She wants them to have men deserving of their beauty and wisdom, their God-given foxiness. When you stir up love in my mind it really is like stirring something up, making yourself noticeable, talking with men, and starting to come out of the battlement even more. But this is only right if you, the woman, are being pursued. This is where the when it pleases part comes in. If this guy doesn’t actually care about you then he has no business stirring up love. If he isn’t asking you out on the dates and furthermore but just as important, paying for them as well, then you need to pop right back down into your fortress. When a man is willing to approach the battlement and respect the wall, slowly working his way in, that’s when love can be stirred. It pleases when the man is respectful, loving, caring, in pursuit of righteousness.
She even gives examples of how awesome Solomon is. Yes, there is a lot of sexual talk throughout the book but there are also more tame parts that still describe the relationship in such a beautiful way.
“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him I am sick with love.” Song of Solomon 5:8
“His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” Song of Solomon 8:9
She is all about him. She misses him, wants to be with him. In these two verses she speaks directly to the daughters of Jerusalem again. She’s saying, ‘look, here is a great example as to how you should feel and some aspects that should be in your relationship.’
The Bride isn’t necessarily saying wait a long time to get married or even let a guy like you. She’s encouraging women to protect the beauty and grace God has given them. She’s saying wait for a Godly guy. Through this beautifully written book of Godly marriage and love this is such a clear message to women to protect their hearts until this man like Solomon comes along to take care of them correctly. It’s not that Solomon was perfect. He wasn’t. But he clung to God, as did she, and they praised God for what they had.
It can be so easy to try to push a romantic relationship with any person of the opposite sex. This is the exact reason as to why we have to be so careful. God didn’t design us to have more than one mate. The encouragement here is to wait though, because it’s so worth it. Rejoice in being a woman, in God’s creation that is looked upon so highly and pursued so readily by the right men. The encouragement is to take hold of your God-given womanly confidence and beauty and snipe out any men who miss the standards even by a centimeter. There is a man for you but God has called him to work for you first. So let him and enjoy being who God has made you to be!
